Finding Myself

Finding who you are in this world is scary and not an easy thing to do. I’m already in my third (and last) year of my undergrad degree, and have no idea what I want to do afterwards. Should I study more, take a break and travel to experience the world, or should I work full-time until I do find direction.

Throughout the 3 years of my degree so far, every time someones asks, ‘What will you do after you degree?’ or ‘Where will that lead you?’ I freak out inside because I don’t have an answer for them. I laugh it off and say i’ll figure it out… but, I have a semester and a bit to go and still haven’t figured it out. There is such a big emphasis on people graduating from university and going into the workforce or further studying in their field. The only issue with this, is that I don’t want to work in the field that I am studying. I know, why study it for 3 years then? Well, its what i got into after year 12, and i had no idea what i really wanted to be doing, or what field i wanted to be in until mid last year.

Now with a bit of direction to follow I can sort out the next couple of years, academic wise and job wise, and slowly work my way to that position. Although I will be studying for much longer than I thought for a Bachelor Degree, the extra three years have taught me some great skills in a different field that may or may not come in handy in the future.

Now that I have the ‘professional’ side of my life partly sorted, it’s time to focus on the Social and Personal side.

To find who I am as a person, in this society can be hard, and a trek. You never really know who you are, or if what you like or think is real, or you think a certain way because of the people around you and what you’re exposed to.

Slowly I am finding who I am.

This is based off of how I act and feel and hold myself around others. It tells me a lot about myself. When talking to certain people, you feel a certain way or act a certain way. I can’t help but feel, personally, that the good feeling and thoughts had when talking to these people is the version of me that I want to portray more, and the more that I am exposed to it, the more I act that way all of the time. Yes, we change depending on who we are talking to or the situation that we are in, but if 75% of the time I can act and be the same way, I believe that is who I am as a person, and how I want to always be.

Socially finding myself is the hardest part of all. I have never been one to have a group of friends for a number of years. I have never belonged to a group where we would hang out all the time, or even catch up a lot. That has never been me, and I don’t see it happening. Due to everyone making their friend groups in either High School and University. I have very few close friends, and none from my high school days. But i have learnt to enjoy my own company to be by myself, something a lot of people have trouble with. I have been putting myself out there more and talking to more people who are around me, to broaden my social networks. It’s hard sometimes, but in the end it is worth it as its always good to converse with people and have others company around you.

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